fishpiss

off to the H.L.I. Circus with the Harvey Christians

off to the H.L.I. Circus
with the Harvey Christians
From Vol. 1 No. 5

On a bright summer day in 1995, Brother Randy convinced Brother Grayson (both of the order Harvey Christian) to check up on their Christian brothers and sisters of Human Life International a famous Pro-Life/Anti-Abortion group in town, mostly from those United States of America, spreading the bad word on all things reproductive. The particular mind enhancers used for this trip made the whole rightist thing too much for sensitive Brother Grayson, so he now interviews Brother Randy to learn for himself and others what the big deal was.

Brother Grayson: So when was the H.L.I. conference? I don’t remember.
Brother Randy: The H.L.I. conference was in 1995.
BG: Three years ago?!
BR: I’m guessing. I have no idea.
BG: When Sister Jacquie was living on St. André.
BR: Ya, so was I, I think.
BG: OK, ya ya ya! With the Pope on the… Pope on the airport.
BR: Oh ya! It was the spinning version of that… Ya I can get really crazy sometimes that I never get a new idea. I’ve been going on the same idea for years. Still doin’ the Pope!
BG: But… it’s expanding. It’s… there’s more Popes now.
BR: There’s more Popes and variations on Popes, but it’s still fucking Popes.
BG: Do you think the explosion of Popes is also the same thing that is connected to the going to the H.L.I. conference?
BR: Um… well, there’s similarities there. There’s the religious thing. If you grow up in kind of a conservative religious background and you don’t stick with the conservative religious thing, you end up being quite a blasphemer. I think the biggest blasphemers are the ones that…
BG: That failed?
BR: Not failed, no…
BG: Fallen Christians?
BR: Ya. Fallen.
BG: They’re most like Satan.
BR: Oh ya! Exactly. Y’know the greatest thing I ever read about Satan was this comic book where, um, he was in Heaven, right? The story was the whole story of Lucifer. He was in Heaven and he… in the old days in Heaven before the Earth ever came about, everybody used to drive around in big Cadillac convertibles.
BG: In… Cadillac convertibles? Before the days of what? Oh, never mind…
BR: Before the Earth came about. And so, um, Lucifer was driving his big white Cadillac convertible with everybody else and he loved this big white Cadillac convertible and then suddenly these people started going to this trend of wings, y’know, started getting wings and flying around and stuff, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with that. He wanted just to drive around in his big white Cadillac convertible. And um, then everybody looked at him driving around while they were flying their little wings and stuff. They outcasted him and sent him to
Hell. He wouldn’t go along with the crowd thing. So he went to Hell and he was miserable because all he ever ended up getting down there were these really boring people and lawyers and stuff. So finally, God made a deal with him. I can’t remember what he had on God, but God made a deal with him: “OK, look… I can’t take you back to Heaven but if you shut up, I’ll give you back your car.” So he said OK and so he sent him back his big white Cadillac convertible so… Lucifer’s driving around down there.
BG: Right.
BR: He doesn’t talk to anybody anymore.
BG: OK. So where do you think the people that you saw at the H.L.I. conference place were ending up, for example, uh… Abortion Anderson?
BR: No, no, no, Pro-Life Anderson.
BG: Pro-Life Anderson! Think of what he does and think of him as a part of the whole HLI conference…
BR: But you can’t…
BG: There was a dab of people that goes from place to place doing these conferences. It’s like any business firm that does a conference.
BR: Ya, but I think instead of being welcomed at the conference, he’s kinda tolerated.
BG: Oh ya?
BR: Ya, because he’s a freak! He’s a fuckin’ freak! He wears clothes, all over saying “Pro-Life Anderson”, and cards covered in “Pro-Life Anderson”. Y’know that he told me why he changed his name to “Pro-Life Anderson” it’s for…
BG: That’s right! His actual name is “Pro-Life Anderson”.
BR: Ya, ya, he changed it on his birth certificate. The reason was so that when the police arrested him, they would have to put down in their files “PRO-LIFE Anderson” instead of Harold, or whatever the hell his name was. Ya, like, that’s real publicity there, pal! How many people do that?
BG: Okay, so… how long do you think that you were down there. In the hotel.
BR: Well, actully it was probably about an hour… I dunno… I think my memories are a little bit suspect, ‘cause it’s been so long and I was so high. But I remember when we got down there, I think you lasted about thirty seconds. You went SCREAMING. Running west!
BG: Well, I went outside… which wasn’t any better but there was less… focus.
BR: Uh huh. I wasn’t expecting to find you in the building when I came back up.
BG: How did you hear about the HLI conference?
BR: Well… it was about four days before it happened, I was reading the Hour or Mirror or something, they had this article about how all these groups were going to go and protest the freaks who were coming to town.
BG: Right.
BR: And I read that and I immediately went out and I bought acid. Do you remember how much we did for that? It was between two and four.
BG: I think it was the most acid I’ve ever taken. We did a lot of stuff that day, walked around a lot…
BR: I remember just taking the acid…
BG: We went walking around the old port… it was a long way…
(We debate for awhile where the HLI people’s hotel was. We still don’t know exactly where it is, but we talk about it for a while until we talk about the metro system.)
BR:Why do they make the stations so close?
BG: Well, it’s the same reason we have all these arteries, that’s why we have all these HLI confrencees together in one room, concentrated energy, man. That’s why I had to get out of it sometimes.
BR: Uh huh.
BG: See, my thing was like, in this fashion, there are extremists who will kill to support the idea that you shouldn’t kill. Which I think is if you’re going to pick a paradox that’s a pretty extreme one as paradoxes can get, as far as hypocracies by which we live.
BR: See, I couldn’t kill you for going out and wanting to kill somebody who’s about to kill somebody else. On the other hand, I could feel justified in killing you.
BG: In another situation where you had things telling you to kill them?
BR: Well…
BG: I think that’s where the problem comes in. If I was in a Baptist church in Mississippi where my sister was living and she, everyday some different friend of hers came up and said “Y’know, we’re really sorry that you’re not going to be saved. Please come to the church with us. We want you to accept Jesus Christ as your saviour. Won’t you come with us?” So, (she says) “I like you guys, I really respect your need to want to save me because you believe that very strongly. But I don’t.” So if I was in a group of people and they believed so strongly that they would go and kill…
BR: Ya.
BG: And then I didn’t prevent it by killing them or by… if I had to defend them against someone, I might not do it because they killed.
BR: Because they killed.
BG: Uh huh. Was there any stuff at the conference that suggested people should kill each other?
BR: No, no, no. There was more an appeal on an emotional level. Which is really interesting because… remember all those post-cards I got?
BG: All the abortion ones? The partial foetus ones?
BR: Well, you remember, I didn’t really notice at the time, but thinking about it afterwards, I realized, those things that were in the trash cans? They were foetuses- they were fucking miscarriages- those are what fucking babies look like. But they weren’t first trimester or second trimester foetuses, they were little dead babies. I mean, people took miscarriages and they arranged their limbs and everything just so. Pose them for the camera in the trash can. Like, these limbs that were partially ripped apart and stuff. They took a picture of it and made post-cards out of it.
BG: Right. Don’t you think…
BR: That’s fucking weird…
BG: Do you think they… I mean, some of them could have been aborted foetuses…
BR: Uhhh…
BG: But they could have believed that they were aborted foetuses. If you get fanatical about something, I think if I am fanatical about something, I am willing to believe any evidence that it’s going on. So I go out, I gotta find aborted foetuses and I find this thing, this bucket, I guess, ‘cause hospitals are lax, used to be much more lax in their disposal. They used to just throw them out. In the garbage.
BR: Then the whole kinda AIDS and transmittable disease thing came about…
BG: … But if you’re going to set up a system that makes something more difficult, you’re going to have to come up with a solution to it. So I guess that the HLI thing was in part to create this support systems for pregnant women.
BR: No, no there wasn’t. People were… okay we’re coming from a very contemporary traditional thing which is the nuclear family. The nuclear family, it works okay in a lot of situations, especially for people who think about ethics and morals a lot.
BG: People who go into that situation and have a tendency for it and know what it is.
BR: There’s a lot of people who go into that situation and fail. For whatever reason. There are people in churches all over the place that beat their wives and kids. But there’s also a lot of, um, it does work in a lot of situations.
For a while Brothers Randy and Grayson reminisce about their families. Gradually we forget about what we were talking about and people come over so by our rightful duties as Harvey Christians, we take on our roles as gracious hosts. We didn’t learn much about ethics or morals, just that if you want to confront people radically different than you, don’t do it on psyhedelics. ~